I‘m a bit late with this post, but I wanted to take a stab at writing an “Ideas of March” post. (Yes, I know it’s technically May). Chris Shiflett started the blog revival, calling on designers to pledge to write more than they did in the previous year. Meagan Fisher, Sarah Parmenter and Rachel Shillcock have all posted articles that resonate with me deeply. Not only because they are awesome female designers producing exceptional work within the industry, but because I too have the same frustrations of feeling discouraged about my work, the struggles of keeping up with an industry that moves at dizzying speeds, and trying not to succumb to the nervousness I feel even pondering the decisions I have to make within the next year.
“Potential”. It’s something many people have told me already as a designer. “You’re so young, your work is so good for still being in college,” or “I love your style.” Although I appreciate these comments and am genuinly humbled when being compared to more established and seasoned designers, I can’t see it. To be honest, when I look at my work, I can’t even describe a “style” that might be associated with my work because I feel like when I’m designing, I should always be producing the best work – and I feel like I’m not delivering. Maybe it’s a female thing:
“I didn’t work on anything I was especially proud of, I didn’t write anything I feel really good about. I had plenty of treasured moments with my friends and family, but all in all, I’d been living without direction. I don’t want to anymore.” – Meagan Fisher
This quote by Meagan seems absurd to me because Meagan is one of my design idols. I adore everything she designs, writes and talks about. Maybe that’s just her perspective. Just like how I have my own perspective of my work. As designers, it’s a constant battle with our inner critic.
I see such young designers, some of whom I have the privelage of calling my friends, such as Tyler Galpin, Collin Henderson, Rachel Shillcock, Hillary Hopper and Iain MacDonald… people who are SO talented and seem to be so confident in their work for being so young. I feel like I still have so much to learn and that I’m not particularly excelling at anything.
Rachel recently tweeted an article by James Young titled You’re Not at the Cutting Edge, and That’s Fine. This article was a literal sigh of relief for me – to know that I was not the only one feeling overwhelmed.
“There’s a new framework or grid system released every week, some are useful and some aren’t. You don’t have to use them. Guess what, it’s still entirely possible to make a website with a text editor and your brain. These tools are here to potentially make your life easier but if you try and keep up with everything you’re going to feel swamped and lost.” – James Young
I don’t know how to do the latest and greatest in CSS, nor Illustrator. Heck, I’m still trying to find the best way to work in Photoshop. It’s a learning curve, yet it still proves to be continually frustrating trying to teach myself these skills when something bigger and better always keeps coming along.
Keeping up to pace with the design industry is a daunting task that proves to be time-consuming. I’ve lost relationships in my past, some people who I’ve greatly admired and connected with, because I have placed so much emphasis on my work. This is something that I’m not proud of and looking back, I feel like these relationships could of been salvaged. So, there comes a point where you have to ask yourself: “What do I want? For my career, I say I want to make and write and speak. But this leads me to ask: What do I really have to say? What can I make that’s actually meaningful?”
Expectations is a word that also scares me. I’m often frightened by what people think I should be doing, rather than what I feel is right. Expectations are placed on us from parents, friends, co-workers, significant others and more, and in the design industry it can be hard when people place expectations on you without really knowing who you are. I feel that since I have gained a bit of exposure through Twitter, people almost expect you to be “an expert” at what you do. In no way is this the case and at times it can prove to be overwhelming to live up to what others are expecting, whether that be in your design work or other aspects of your career.
Going deeper into finding out why designers such as myself feel this way is important. What is more important, is that these experiences, thoughts and emotions be published – vulnerable and in plain sight for everyone to see. Blogging helps establish our voice, strengthen our confidence and ultimately, helps us become better designers.
If you’re interested in what other people are writing about for the “Ideas of March,” you can follow the Twitter search #ideasofmarch.
Hi (((Janna))) – I am 46 years old with more than 20 years of design experience and I still feel the way you do (and BTW – in my heart of hearts, I don’t feel a day older than 28 in my soul). I think that we authentic creative people have a very difficult time in this world. By “authentic” I mean those of use who are extremely creative but without the ego component that drives other “artists”. Ego-driven artists are focused on their image. Real artists are focused on the art – We just want to create something beautiful. And it is hard because so much of this society is ego and recognition driven – especially organizations and companies that are trying to sell sell sell… (and so much of selling is pure bullshit). That is why so much shit passes for “art”. I can’t offer you any sage advice, but I can strongly encourage you to stay true to yourself. I know it is hard making a living as a creative person in this world. But life isn’t 100% about making a living. It’s about being a good person and a good friend and trying to express that. It’s about doing the best that you can with whatever circumstances you were born into. I respect you for trying the best you can (and it IS good enough in the huge scheme of things). Trying is way more admirable than achieving potential anyway. You could be a world famous, rich artist but everyone might hate you because you are a self-serving ass. I ask what kind of potential would that really be? When you go to stand before God (whatever God really is), and he/she/it says, “what did you do in life?” I doubt you would want to tell him/her/it, “Oh, I was a self-serving ass but I was really successful and rich.” lol… Janna – be a great person. Let that make you a really good artist, and give yourself a break. What you do naturally is more thank good enough – in fact, I think it is fantastic. :) The very best to you and thank you for giving voice to insecurities I have harbored all these years. It is wonderful to know I am not alone. xo, Janet
Great piece. I keep telling myself I’m just starting out in web deisng but infact I’ve been doing it for a year or so now and I know what I’m doing but its having that confidence in my own ability. As you mentioned, there is ALWAYS so much to learn that I never feel like I’m going to get on top of it so when I hear James Young say “These tools are here to potentially make your life easier but if you try and keep up with everything you’re going to feel swamped and lost.” it makes me feel a lot better. A bit of reassurance that I’m not doing something wrong or just not getting it. Thank you for your post, articles like this help people like me keep going!
Have you seen http://theexceptionalman.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/ira-glass-quote.jpg ?
Yes, I have. I adore that quote, thank you for the reminder.
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It’s seems to be that you’re very concerned about what other people’s opinion of you and work will be. You talk a lot about people noticing you and commenting on your own and having expectations — but what about you? Do you even enjoy design work? Are you having fun? Or are you just trying to be impressive all the time?
Maybe it’s different between programmers and designers, but my prime goal is to have fun, keep learning and make interesting things. I make stupid mistakes every day and I sometimes get stuck for hours, but I keep at it because I love it and enjoy it.
If making everyone happy and living up to expectations is stressing you out then maybe you should consider disconnecting and focusing on doing work that makes you happy.
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love what I do. Although I love what I do, there are always frustrations that come with that sometimes. I think it may be because I do love design so much, that I always want to be learning. But at a certain point, it can become paralyzing in a sense.
I’m not overly concerned with what people think of me – sorry for maybe coming off that way in my post. I think what overwhelms me is the combination of all these things together, especially being a young designer with still so much to learn.
I’m optimistic for the future though and what it has to bring. I think with a combination of patience, time and experience things will slowly start to get better :)
I think I understand what you mean. Sometimes it can be pretty hard living up to everyone’s expectations. It’s a fine line between drawing energy from that kind of attention and getting stressed out by it. Personally I find it helps to just take a deep breath, dive in and enjoy the process of the work without thinking very much of the outcome. While it’s great to keep an eye on the outside world and what other people, sometimes you just have to turn inwards, ground yourself and let the world pass you be (if only for a few hours).
Good luck!
That is some wonderful advice. Thank you.